Saturday, November 05, 2005

Flying Solo & Other Musings

It's been hard to not allow myself to admit that seperating from a partner is hard to do but possibly even more difficult is sleeping alone. Slide into the middle of your bed and you're never think twice about it teddy bear (given to me by Mommie Dearest of course) works wonders. I'm in San Francisco - just needed to get away and disappear without letting anyone know I'm in town except the person I'm visiting. My single apartment, my single dish, my single fork and my Tivo are my new housemates and I shouldn't complain. I've had my one-night stands, my hook-ups with old friends and I have to say, that aspect of flying solo is nice. No dirty boxers in my bathroom or uneaten food, uncapped jars or empty beer bottles to shuffle's just me.

I've done a ton of traveling in the past three months: Louisville, KY, Pittsburgh, PA, and one week ago I was in Philadelphia. What a city....I almost restructured my plans from moving to NYC to Philly. The people really love their town and have a sense of who they are. They are also lucky enough have over 2,000 murals to be claim as a unique feature of their city. San Francisco has kept up their mural obsession in the Mission District but it doesn't touch Philly as far as the quantity. I visisted Elfreth's Alley (similiar to Beacon Hill), a treasure of an old neighborhood built back in the sixteenth century and still inhabited by wealthy Philadelphians. I loved it.

So this time next year, I'm hoping to be in NYC...I had such a blast visiting my best friend in Brooklyn and catching up with old friends in the Lower East Side. We stood out on Times Square while I smoked a cigarette and marveled at the beauty of the city - so large and massive that one could feel lost and found simultaneously. I left the city with that feeling and it's called me to return ever since.

I'm planning to continue my non-profit work in sexual assault and have a few ideas about some agencies in NYC and in Manhattan will be a challenge but my friend's third-floor walk-up in the lower east side was too cute...but probably over a grand a month if not more....we'll see...

The premiere of the film version of RENT ( has been the highlight of my brain and I can't wait to view it at least 10 times in the first two months it's's the first musical of my generation that really spoke to me - as a young woman just trying to survive, live, work, party and eat and be there for my friends as they embark on their own adventures. I have also have a lot of friends with disabilities: cancer, arthirtis, lupus, HIV, etc. With that in my mind, I can never worry about life changes, ending a relationship, etc. because it seems so trivial in the grand schemes of things....I'm learning to worry less, have a litttle more fun and welcome lonliness, the tears of being lonely and realizing that it's okay to ask for a break every now and's not necessary to have those three things in life: love, a good job and a place to lay your head at night. You can make up whatever three or ten things you may need. For me: it's three things: friendships (the good, longstanding, drama-free ones), love of oneself, and a purpose in life (which I have many).


and an expected return of the Nubian Princess